Vol. III, # 51, July 29, 2005

A Little Religious Humor to Start This PHA

Shepson Beth Wilson informed PH that Shepson Bob Carter has done a painting of the view of Cool Spring. She promises to bring the painting to the SSBSC so that everyone can see it. Beth stated, "What a talented fellow he is!"

Beth also forward a joke about a church and a painter:

There was a painter by the name of Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin his paint to make it go further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Church decided to do a big restoration job that involved the painting of one of its biggest churches. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

He went about erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, thinning it down with the turpentine. Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away with the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

The torrential rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off the scaffold and on to the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

( you'll love this.... )

* Repaint! Repaint! and thin no more!

Get Out Those Old Recipes

Many of us probably have old recipes that we inherited from grandma. You might be able to use them for the after church social on Sunday, August 14 when our class is responsible for the goodies.

Shepsons Charlotte and Bill provide some details regarding the after church reception and also give a plug for the River Roadsters next adventure.

ON THE DOCKET:

On Sunday, August 14th, our class is responsible for providing refreshments at the reception after church. On July 31st and August 7th, we will circulate a sign-up list to make certain we balance our selection of food between the sweet and the nutritional.

If you already know what you would like to bring, please give Charlotte a ring on the telly at 285-3185 or a plop on the e-mail at >wsimpson04@aol.com< (PH- Has Bill had too many sweets with terms like "telly" and "plop?")

On Thursday, September 15th, the River Roadsters will tour the Jamestown National Historical Site in the morning, enjoy lunch and an hour-and-a-half cruise aboard "The Yorktown Lady Lunch Cruise" at noon, and tour Yorktown Battlefield in the afternoon. With the 400th anniversary celebration of Jamestown just two short years away (2007), this ought to be a wonderful opportunity.

Cost per person: $69.

To make your reservations, please call Eunice Wolford at 794-4651, but don't wait too long because this trip ought to be particularly popular.

The School Supplies Are Coming In

Shepson Missionaries Charlotte and Bill have been busy purchasing bargain school supplies on behalf of our class and getting them transported to ISH. Around 4 PM on this past Wednesday Shepsons Charlotte, Bill and Brenda took a load of supplies to ISH and the temperature was at least 100 degrees at the paved parking lot at ISH. They acccomplished this feat with no heat exhaustion. They are cautious Boy and Girls Scouts and we all should be grateful for their efforts. Bargains have been found at Wal Mart, Staples and Office Max on school supplies. Remember, if you are not able or do not have the time to shop, Charlotte and Bill will do it for you, but they need funding from all of us.

Prayer Rounds

Hi, Henry. My uncle, John Simpson, of Falls Church, VA, died Sunday, July 24th, in the 101st year and 9th month of his life. He was comfortable for all but 6 months of that time and his remarkable memory continued until the end. Two weeks before he died, he was telling a friend his experiences of going to school in Florida as a 4-year-old (in 1907-1908). He was a really good man, humble and nonjudgmental in his relationships, a friend to one and all.

Bill

Obituary of John Reid Simpson (age 102) from the Washington Post

John Reid Simpson if Idylwood, VA, died on Saturday, July 23, 2005 at Iliff Nursing Home. Beloved husband of the late Elnora D. Simpson; loving father of Dorothy L. Senseney (Jack) and Charles W. Simpson (Pat) and grandfather of Elizabeth, Mary, Tom, Deborah and Garrett. He is also survived by nine great-grandchildren. He retired from United Airlines. The family will receive friends at Idylwood Presbyterian Church, 7617 Idylwood Rd., Falls Church, VA 22043 on Thursday, July 28, from 10 a.m. until time of services at 11 a.m. Interment National Memorial Park. Memorial contributions may be made to the Idylwood Presbyterian Church

Jeanette Gholston is recovering at Westport Manor. Charlotte and Bill report:

On Tuesday, we visited Jeanette Gholston at Westport Manor. Six weeks ago she fell and it was discovered that she needed a pacemaker. In the process, however, in falling, she broke both of her ankles. She was in the hospital for ten days and has been at Westport Manor since then. She was in good spirits Tuesday even though she still cannot put any weight on her ankles. Next week, she will learn if she can be released so she can go to stay with her daughter for a while.

PH heard last Sunday that Don Bunn still is dealing with chronic pain.

Remember in your prayers: the family of John R Simpson, Jared Oliver, Mary Mann, Jeanette Gholston, Don Bunn, Kay and Bob Culpeper and the family of Stuart S Sanderson, Jr. Elmer West, Sandra Sizemore's Great Aunt Myrtle Kurz and the family of Myrtle Kurz, Philip and Shanna Davis, the VCU BSU, Julia Tyler and her parents, the youth of the church, the Church clergy and the church staff. Prayers should also be offered for our men and women in the armed forces and for civilians around the world in harm's way and for those only known to you

Rob James Is the Catacombs Lecturer This Sunday and Next

Rob James will give two lectures this year beginning on July 31 and continuing on August 7. His topic is:

Where Jesus Sounds Like the Book of Revelation: The Synoptic Apocalypse, Mark 13=Matt 24=Luke 21

Thus we will jump from Hymnology to possible heavy theology. Come and hear Rob and decide for yourself if his topic is heavy or light.

Shepsons Dick and Julian Are Twenty-nine at Last

Shepsons Dick and Judy Morris have been married forty-five years and yet Shepson Dick is just turning twenty-nine and Judy is even younger. About three years ago Math professor Dick explained to PH how one could be younger in years of life and yet married more years. His theory had something to do with the speed of light. Maybe he could explain it to us again. We will await his response. Meanwhile wish him a happy birthday next Wednesday and also wish Julian Pentecost a happy twenty-ninth birthday on the same day.

For those of you who at times live in a fantasy world, Harry Potter's birthday is this Sunday..

A Biblical Quiz that May Make You Groan

What do they call pastors in Germany?
     German Shepherds

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
     Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
     Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
     Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
     Samson. He brought the house down.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
     Your mother ate us out of house and home

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
     Moses. He broke all ten commandments at once.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
     The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
     David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Which Bible character had no parents?
     Joshua, son of Nun.

Why didn't they play cards in the Ark?
     Because Noah was standing on the deck.

PS Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?
     Yup, it's in the Bible. Hebrews

PH believes these witty questions were sent to PH by Shepson Don Thomson.

A Thought for Our Time by Peter Abrahams

To live with the conscious knowledge of the shadow of uncertainty, with the knowledge that disaster or tragedy could strike at any time; to be afraid and to know and acknowledge your fear, and still to live creatively and with unstinting love: that is to live with grace.

PH

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